Teach(p)ing

sort of a poem

Posted: 13 June 2022
Stats: 355 words / ~2 minutes

Another notification,
What could it be?
Click this, open that,
Why was this sent to me?

An email from my manager
To say I need to check Teams.
Let’s install another app
And choose from one of six themes.

Come navigate this list of groups
And help me find my way.
It’s not like I have something to do,
I only have to teach today.

There. We found it.
Ah, a file to download.
Fill out this spreadsheet,
Log into to Moodle and upload.

Now, time to go to work.
Teaching is what I like best,
Not Yammer this and Doodle that,
Not another software to beta test.

Turn on the laptop.
Plug it in.
Connect to WiFi.
Why can’t I log in?

Down for maintenance,
Yet again.
The hours on OneDrive,
The weeks of eyestrain.

A training session for Slack,
Do we really need that?
Yes, it is the same but different.
A lot of effort for group chat.

Reply all.
Out of office.
What to do?
I’m nauseous.

How many accounts must we use
Just to prove we’ve gone digital?
This feels like more work,
Not a little bit paradisiacal.

Listen here, administrators:
Nothing about this is streamlined.
The teachers are run ragged,
They’ve lost all peace of mind.

Technological progress in the name of efficiency
Creates more work in the long run.
If the teachers are all exhausted,
Our school won’t be number one.

Do you want to make things easier?
Do you want a suggestion?
It would be easier to teach
Without all this interruption.

Stop sending me messages.
I don’t want another app.
Don’t take it the wrong way,
But it’s all a load of crap.

I’ll still do my work
Without this DX.
You’ll still be happy
As you cash all those cheques.

You want to be innovative,
But you just copy the rest.
I would give you a zero
If you did that on a test.

So, turn off those screens.
Time to disconnect.
It’s the only way I know
To teach the present perfect.

I have spoken,
You have heard.
Please don’t make me remember
Another password.

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